No Excuses This Sunday
To make it possible for everyone to attend church this
Sunday, there will be a special "No Excuse Sunday."
Cots will be placed in the foyer for those who say
"Sunday is my only day to sleep in."
We will have steel helmets for those who say
"The roof would cave in if I ever went to church."
Blankets will be provided for those who think the
church is too cold and fans will be provided for those
who think the church is too hot.
We will have hearing aids for those who say the
preacher speaks too softly and cotton for those who
say he preaches too loudly.
Score cards will be available for those who wish to
list the hypocrites present in church.
Some relatives will be in attendance for those who
like to go visiting their family on Sundays.
There will be TV dinners for those who can't go to
church because they have to cook dinner.
One section will be devoted to trees and grass for
all those who like to see God in nature.
Finally, the sanctuary will be decorated with both
Christmas poinsettias and Easter lilies for those
who have never seen the church without them.